“It Has Been Such a Good Life”: The Legacy Your Loved Ones Need
“It Has Been Such a Good Life”: The Legacy Your Loved Ones Need
When Anna Harp lost her father, Rudolph Clausing, she didn’t get to say goodbye. It was January 2021, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Her dad had been battling lung disease when he contracted the virus, and strict hospital protocols meant his family couldn’t be by his side in his final days. Anna was just 27. Her father was 66. And in an instant, he was gone.
But in the aftermath of her father’s passing, as her mother gathered his things from the hospital, she discovered something Anna never expected—a notebook, and inside it, a note scrawled in her dad’s handwriting:
“It has been such a good life.”
Seven simple words. And yet, to Anna, they were everything.
This touching story reveals something profound about what loved ones truly need after someone dies. While we often focus on financial inheritance and legal documents, the reality is that your loved ones will treasure your humanity, your love, and your guidance far more than any material wealth you leave behind. So the question is: are you preparing to give them what they'll value most?
What Your Family REALLY Values After You're Gone
In the immediate aftermath of losing someone you love, money becomes secondary to the desperate need for connection, comfort, and understanding. They'll be searching for pieces of you, trying to feel your presence, and longing to know what you would have wanted them to do.
When you die without sharing your deeper thoughts and feelings, your loved ones are left with an emotional void that no amount of money can fill. They may spend years wondering what you were thinking, whether you were proud of them, or how you would have handled certain situations. This uncertainty has the power to create lasting pain that affects their relationships, their decisions, and their ability to move forward with confidence.
The people who struggle most after losing someone aren't necessarily those with financial problems—they're the ones who feel emotionally adrift because they don’t know how to find peace after their loved one has died.
The True Legacy of Love: Clear Communication and Guidance
The best way to help them find peace is by passing on your love. Love is expressed through preparation and clear communication. When you take time to share your thoughts, values, and wishes with your family, you're giving them a roadmap for navigating life without you. This isn't just about end-of-life care or funeral arrangements—it's about providing the emotional support and practical guidance they'll need for years to come.
This type of communication becomes a legacy of love that extends far beyond your lifetime. When your children face difficult decisions, they can ask themselves what you would have done. When they need encouragement, they can remember your words of support. When they want to honor your memory, they know exactly what would make you proud.
Clear communication also prevents the kind of family conflicts that can destroy relationships after someone dies. When everyone understands your wishes and the reasoning behind them, there's less room for misunderstanding or manipulation. Your words become a unifying force that brings your loved ones together rather than driving them apart during an already difficult time.
Unfortunately, traditional estate planning completely misses this crucial need for emotional connection and ongoing guidance. Traditional planning focuses solely on legal documents, as if dying is a purely financial transaction. Traditional estate planners may ask you who should get your house and how to minimize taxes, but they won't help you communicate your values, share your life lessons, or prepare your family for the emotional realities they'll face after you're gone.
Create Your Own Legacy of Love Through Life & Legacy Planning
Life & Legacy Planning is so much more than traditional estate planning. It prepares your loved ones for a life without you. Here’s how:
You Create Clarity, Not Just Documents
Life & Legacy Planning is so much more than creating documents. It's estate planning done the right way so that it will work for the people you love most when they need it to. Once you create a Life & Legacy Plan with me, your loved ones will have the guidance they need. They’ll know where to find important documents, how to access your accounts, and what steps to take first. They will have clear instructions about everything from paying bills to handling your business interests.
But most importantly, they'll understand your wishes, not just about money, but about the things that matter most to them—how you'd want your children raised if you die while they’re minors, and what values you hope they'll carry forward. Your loved ones will know what family traditions you want to pass on, and what stories you want to tell about family members long-since passed.
You Prepare Your Loved Ones for Financial Realities
Your Life & Legacy Plan will also address the financial realities - not just the transactions - your loved ones will face. How will your spouse manage the mortgage? What about your children's future education costs? How can you ensure your family maintains their lifestyle while also preparing for long-term financial security? The answers to these questions won't come from a life insurance policy or a set of documents alone.
You Leave a Piece of Yourself
An important part of my Life & Legacy PlanningⓇ process, most clients tell me it’s the most important part, is I help you create a Life & Legacy Recording. It's your opportunity to speak directly to your loved ones about what matters most. You might share the story behind family heirlooms, explain your values and hopes for the future, offer encouragement for difficult times ahead, or simply express how much your family means to you.
Unlike Rudolph's note, which was discovered by chance, your Life & Legacy Recording is specifically designed to be watched when your family needs it most. It becomes a permanent reminder of your love, wisdom, and presence in their lives. Your grandchildren will even be able to hear your voice and learn from your experiences, even if they're born years after you're gone.
You Give Them a Guide So They Have Someone to Turn to When They Need It
Finally, I have systems in place to review and update your plan on an ongoing basis as your life and assets change, so your plan will work over time, and so you have a trusted advisor at your side who has your back. I'll form a relationship that will last throughout your lifetime, and I'll be available to your loved ones so they know exactly what to do and when. If I am no longer available, know that I’m part of the Personal Family LawyerⓇ network - lawyers who also use the Life & Legacy Planning process - and I’ll ensure one of them will be able to step in and support you and the people you love.
This ongoing relationship is what truly makes the difference. Most lawyers lose touch with clients once the documents are created, leaving families to navigate the legal process alone while they're grieving. When they have to go through probate or handle other legal matters, they have no idea what's expected of them or how to manage the process—and this is overwhelming, especially when they're also dealing with grief.
Let’s Build a Plan That Leaves No Questions—Only Love
If you want to create a plan that leaves a legacy, don’t wait. Life is unpredictable. But your love doesn’t have to be.
As your Personal Family Lawyer® Firm, I’ll help you create a Life & Legacy Plan that protects your family legally, prepares them emotionally, and leaves behind the greatest gift you could ever give them the gift of your love.
Click here to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation to learn more and get started today:
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Silvas Law is a Personal Family Lawyer® firm, we know the value of planning for the future.
And we know the value of planning for the life you want today and the legacy that extends far beyond your assets.

This article is a service of Tammy Silvas, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning Session™ , during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning Session™.
The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.